Arc Tangent

I apologise in advance for the following post. I was feeling whimsical, having watched one of President Obama’s public addresses, and decided to loosely emulate the style for a blog post. Consider yourselves warned.

My fellow internet users,

Despite rumours to the contrary, I have not stopped updating this blog. True, my detractors would like me to be silent, if they existed. I say to them – you do not exist, therefore, I continue to blog!

Even if they did exist, I would continue. At this historic time, who could stand idly by, their voice still and silent? When so much is at stake, and so many give their all for the Good of the Internet, how could I sit by and not participate?

There are great things happening behind the scenes; great and terrible things. Just last week, I was accosted by some lawyers over a previous business situation. I thank you all for your concern, but urge you not to worry – for we are greater than this simple challenge, and together, we will triumph.

All is not darkness. New business opportunities are arising on an almost weekly basis. I have redoubled my efforts and taken on some new contract work – so that I might serve you, the people, all the better.

Our iPhone development projects proceed with haste, and before the month is out we will have announcements of the earliest stages of this venture. We are reaching out to shape the future, and the future is cute and cuddly. Remember these days – you will speak of them to your grandchildren, despite their mockery over what will then be an anachronistic device!

My fellow users, we are surrounded by change. Much has been lost, but there is still so much to gain. Do not give up hope, keep your eyes on the prize, and remember – your arcwhite cares for you.

And damn, those North Koreans eh? What a crotchety bunch!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Noodly Blessings upon you all, and goodnight.